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living_waters's Journal

Tiffany Haley
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  • living_waters@livejournal.com
Hello Friend,

Just in case I have not Formally introduced my self to you I am Tiffany Haley.

Needless to say, I was not always this happy about my life, and I did not always enjoy what I had going on around me. I didn’t like my job, I didn’t spend a lot of time with my family, but most of all I did not like me.

I want to share a story with you, one that is true and from my heart. It is a story about me it is a mini version of my testimony. I want to share this story with you just so you can know I am no better than you are. I want you to see that I have had a dirty past which might have been worst than yours, but regardless of the sins and transgressions we have committed our savior died so our sins can be washed away white as snow.

When I came to Christ beloved I had so much baggage, and after reading the bible and seeing all the things God viewed as wrong and worse off all the things that hurt Gods feelings I felt so dirty, I felt nasty and unclean. I had been molested by one of my closest family members and tricked into believing that it was okay for me to let him have sex with me more than once, and when I tried to tell on him he told me it was my fault and my family would think I was nasty and dirty. In my mind I thought I had intentionally committed incest even though I was a young child who was manipulated by a grown man.

At the age of fourteen I was introduced to cocaine by a 26 year old man who called him self my boyfriend. He told me he sold drugs and we could make a lot of money if I found him a place to stay and gave him a little bit of money to “ get on with” which means to buy a starter kit of whatever drug. I made my mother believe he was 21 and begged her to let him stay with us even though she didn’t want him to. After I caught him in the bathroom doing “crack” I tried to leave him but he began to beat me every time he was high. He finally moved and I was left with a drug habit and a broken spirit.

As a result of this I began not to like men and even though I wanted a husband and a family like any other young girl, I dropped out of school to be in a homosexual relationship at the age of sixteen.

Then one day I prayed to the Lord to get me out of the situation and he did. To make a long story short, I was a homosexual, a rebel, a victim of molestation, broken hearted, abused mentally and physically and I just felt unclean, but my friends that’s not even half of what I have been through. Even though God had completely delivered me from all of my past habits.

Even though I read how I was a knew creation and all things had passed away and I had become new. Although I knew Jesus had died for my sins. I fell into a deep depression. One which had included suicidal thoughts and attempts. I blamed others for my actions. I really thought I had a psychiatric problem. I would sit in corners rocking back and forth praying for God to take away the pain and please forgive me. I wanted to know what I had to do to get him to forgive me. It was crazy.

The worst part abut all of this was knew I was purposed, knew I had a calling on my life, but instead of living out the vision that God put in my mind of success I let others define my dreams. As a result of letting other people define my dreams I was left alone struggling to regain my self. Forced to overcome the religious beliefs of the church. Forced to live up to the standards of my family and so called friends. Most of all forced to live up to the standards of what we call the ideal AMERICAN DREAM. I wanted to be normal so bad. The only thing about it was I was not called to be normal.

No matter how hard I tried to live up to all the Images of a so called regular life. That was not what I was called to do. All I knew was that I always wanted to help people! I loved people. I loved Seeing people happy and successful this is what made me happy! So I began to pursue a business called Life Coaching. As many of you know I was the founder of Image Life Coaching Company.

Well, my friends the Lord began to work on me again and he lead me so graciously to close down my business and study more about my identity in Christ Jesus. He called me to a level of commitment in him that is so amazing to me! It’ s a thirst for him that is so pure. I wake up every morning now desiring to know more about him! Now the Lord is still using me to help people. I still pray with people, pray for people, cry with people, relate, with people, listen, and coach and disciple in some sort of way when ever the Lord leads me.

Right now I am enjoying my marriage, home, my family, my friends, the simple things in life that matter while God is developing you and healing you. Life is Great!! God bless you all and grace be with you all!!
"i.m.ing" praying, blogging, camera's and video's, creating, emailing, giving advice, giving information through writing, gods creations, journalism, learning. nature, motivational speaking/ministering, people., reading, telling stories, theology, writing